self immolative

12/20/2025

i can only make art when im in love & its not that im not in love rn just maybe love doesnt inspire me like that anymore. what is it now? i mean low key my drugs have been shit lately. + the daily has caught up with me a little bit. dysphoric keeping a routine while changing your entire being. sag szn in the year of the snake, the immolation step of a phoenix cycle.

also tho i do need a molting. none of my clothes fit rn so i keep wearing the same outfit. it feels like im carrying around a dead skin. i deprioritize myself in that way a little too much. i convince myself i can last in the same pair of shorts, leggings, and a rotation of 2 hoodies all winter long so i can make sure we have rent, or groceries. before id fill the gaps by like redacting shit for freedacted. but its a different game now w ai cameras**

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**ai data centers arent just for gpt theyre also storing facial recognition data & waymo / flock / checkout cam recordings. its important to rethink what harm redux means & how we can revise our understandings of what a holistic, intersectional approach towards our domestic cyber security in the age of ai will look like.

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really i just need some new clothes. i want to learn to sew & stitch shit together bc what i dream of is making my own wardrobe. repurposing & remaking a lot of what i have already, and being able to find basic affordable items that i can morph & layer & patch together. some times i need to make self care a challenge otherwise my adhd brain doesnt feel motivated enough to do it lol. but the flip side of that is slow starts & procrastination. i thrive in momentum tho.

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